“This kind of demon…”

Yeshua said, “cannot be cast out but only by fasting and prayer.” (Matthew 17:21)

Thirty days into a water-only fast, this verse hit differently. This part of the fast was grueling—my iron levels were dropping, and I was irritable. The mere breath of anyone in my family could almost drive me through the roof.

My children were doing what they do best: being children. The house was a mess, and I felt as if I was falling apart. I was nearing the end, almost reaching the forty-day mark, but it felt like ages. Every movement was a challenge, each step a mile. Thirty-plus days of water fasting had left my body weak, but the spirit world felt strong.

“Baba, watch this!” my eldest son, four years old, called out to me. He was, as usual, getting into something he didn’t need to. I approached him, eyes seeing red, as loving parents sometimes do.

I yelled, I screamed at him... and then something happened.

For those who don’t know, my oldest son is a spitting image of me. We have similar mannerisms. He is my twin. But, in this moment, I no longer saw him. I was stuck, incapable of moving and this feeling still chills me. I saw myself, a small boy his same age. A boy, the age of four, whose father was brutally murdered, who forced himself to not feel. This boy grew up in a hard environment where families did not understand forgiveness or how to love one another through their challenges. Suddenly, I realized my plague.

This demon had followed me into my adult life and challenged all my relationships.

Now here I was. Confronted with my devil, I had a choice: perpetuate the cycle or heal. Sobbing, I hugged my son and my inner child. With tears in my eyes, I asked for forgiveness. I couldn't stop crying. My body was already depleted, devoid of minerals, but now crying caused my body to spasm. I couldn’t stop the release. The weight was coming off me. Forgiveness breaks chains we didn't know we wore.

I cast out the demon.

Deep, grueling fasting, and prayer helped me get here. It’s been my only way.

In times of anxiety, fear, and doubt: pick up a pen. Write. Put words to the situation. Logic grounds us when emotions try to sweep us away.

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I’ve been thinking about doing a communal fast, there’s a lot going on in the world and I think it could serve us all well. What do you say? Three days, water only?

Let me know,

RO